Myth-Busting Couples Therapy

Rebecca Leon, MHC-LP

As a therapist, I’m reminded on almost a daily basis that relationships are complicated and often challenging to navigate. When people from different walks of life come together to form a partnership, conflict is inevitable. Sometimes, couples therapy can provide the guidance and support needed to strengthen our bonds. Unfortunately, couples therapy is often surrounded by myths that discourage people from seeking help. Let's debunk some of these common misconceptions and destigmatize couples therapy.

Myth #1: Only Troubled Relationships Need Therapy

Many people mistakenly believe that couples only attend therapy as a last-ditch effort to save their relationship. However, in one study, only 14 percent of couples started therapy to figure out whether they could save the relationship or whether they should part ways (Parker, 2019). Couples may attend therapy for a myriad of reasons. In fact, the same study found that 46 percent of couples wanted to handle conflict better, 30 percent wanted to restore their bond, and 25 percent felt they were doing well and just wanted to enhance some part of their union (Parker, 2019). 

Couples therapy can be a proactive and positive step for any couple, regardless of the severity of their issues. It can help enhance communication skills, deepen emotional intimacy, and provide tools for navigating challenges together. Therapy is a resource for growth, not just a last resort.

Myth #2: Couples Therapy Is Only for Married Couples

Couples therapy is not exclusive to married couples. It can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship, including those who are dating, engaged, or in long-term partnerships. The goal is to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and create a healthier connection, regardless of legal marital status.

Myth #3: Therapists Take Sides

A skilled couples therapist is neutral and impartial. Their role is not to take sides but to facilitate open communication and guide both partners toward understanding each other's perspectives. The goal is to promote mutual understanding and resolution rather than assigning blame. 

It is also important for couples to have a warm and supportive therapeutic relationship with their therapist, not only for their personal well-being but also for improving their relationship. Studies indicate that when couples establish a deeper rapport with their therapist, it correlates with enhancements in their romantic bond (Parker, 2019). Developing this type of therapeutic relationship can only happen when a therapist is neutral and supportive of all parties involved.

Myth #4: Couples Therapy Is Only for Big Problems

Couples therapy is not limited to resolving significant crises. It can address many concerns, from communication issues and lack of intimacy to daily stressors and future planning. Therapy can also act as a preventative tool for addressing minor concerns before they escalate into more significant challenges down the road.

Myth #5: Therapy Is a Sign of Failure

Starting couples therapy does not mean that you have failed as a couple. Due to social stigma, it’s common for couples to experience a sense of inadequacy or shame (Parker, 2019). However, another way to see it is as a brave and proactive step toward building a healthier relationship. Couples therapy demonstrates a commitment to personal and relational growth. Just as people seek professional help for personal development, couples can benefit from therapy to strengthen their connection and navigate challenges more effectively. Instead of viewing couples therapy as a failure, consider it an important step to creating a successful relationship.

Couples therapy is a valuable resource that can benefit relationships at any stage. While it may not be for everyone, it is crucial to destigmatize couples therapy for those who might benefit from it. Taking the step toward therapy is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength and commitment to building a fulfilling and resilient partnership.

Resources

Parker, H. (2019). Myths About Couples Therapy. Psychology Today.