Coping with Grief and Loss

Rebecca Leon, MHC-LP

In 2022, my life drastically changed. In the span of one month, I unexpectedly lost both my father-in-law and my uncle. My experience with grief at that time was limited. One moment I was living carefree, unaware of what mortality truly felt like; the next, I was faced with palpable loss and two grieving families. 

Grief and loss are universal experiences that impact us all at some point. Whether it's the passing of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or the loss of a cherished dream, the journey through grief can be incredibly challenging. My experience managing my grief while trying to support my family helped me discover many aspects of the grieving process that I wasn't aware of beforehand. Understanding more about the process of grief helped me find healthier ways to cope. If you're experiencing grief, here are some ways to navigate the storm and find a path toward healing:

The Five Stages of Grief 

In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief” based on her research of terminally ill patients. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. If you are experiencing any of these emotions in the wake of loss, it may help to know that it’s both natural and extremely common. However, not everyone who experiences loss goes through all these stages, and that’s okay. The five stages of grief are not a requirement for healing. Some people resolve their grief without going through any stages, while others go through the stages in various orders (Smith et al., 2023). Ultimately, there's no one way to grieve. 

The Grieving Process

Grief is a deeply personal experience that looks different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and a person’s grieving process may depend on many factors, including their personality, life experience, faith, culture, and how significant the loss was to them. This process takes time and happens gradually—there is no timetable for grief. While some people feel better within weeks or months, others grieve for years. Regardless of how long it takes, it’s important to be patient and allow the process to naturally unfold (Smith et al., 2023).  

While the grieving process can take many forms, you may consider the following coping skills:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel 

In the wake of loss, it's natural to experience a wide range of emotions. The first step in coping with grief is granting yourself permission to feel. Rather than suppress difficult feelings, give yourself the space to experience them and express them without judgment. 

2. Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial throughout the grieving process. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and joy, whether it's taking walks in nature, reading, practicing meditation, or enjoying a hobby. Nourishing your body and mind can help you build resilience and create moments of reprieve from the intensity of your emotions.

3. Seek Support 

Grief can often feel isolating, but that doesn’t mean you have to navigate it alone. Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can provide a sense of belonging and understanding that is crucial during this time. Sharing your feelings and memories can also help you process your emotions and feel less alone.

4. Create Rituals

Rituals can help provide a sense of structure and meaning during a time when life might feel chaotic. Whether it's lighting a candle, saying a prayer, creating a scrapbook, or planting a tree in memory of your loved one, rituals offer a tangible way to honor and remember them. For some people, faith can also provide a sense of comfort, and leaning into cultural or religious rituals can help with the grieving process. 

5. Embrace Grief in Waves

Grief doesn't follow a linear path. It often comes in waves, sometimes unexpectedly crashing over you. Understand that this is a normal part of the process. As time passes, these waves might become less frequent and intense, but it's important to be patient and allow the emotions to come and go.

6. Seek Professional Help

If you find that your grief is overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to your unique situation. They can help you navigate complex emotions and develop tools to manage the challenges of grief.

7. Finding Meaning

Finding meaning in the midst of grief can be a powerful way to cope. Consider engaging in activities that honor the memory of your loved one or channel your emotions into creative outlets. Donating to a cause your loved one cared about or volunteering can also provide a sense of purpose and connection.

8. Embrace the Legacy

As you move forward, consider how you can honor the legacy of the person or thing you've lost. This could involve preserving their traditions, continuing their work, or simply sharing their story with others. By keeping their memory alive, you're ensuring that their impact on your life continues to thrive.

In the face of grief and loss, remember that you are not alone—grief is a universal experience. Embracing your emotions, seeking support, and practicing self-care are coping strategies that can help you navigate this challenging experience. However, the healing process takes time. Remember to be gentle to yourself and reach out for help if you need it.

Source:

Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (2023). Coping with Grief and Loss. HelpGuide.org.