What We Can Learn from Birthdays

May 13

Rebecca Leon, MHC-LP

A birthday is like New Year's Eve—deeply polarizing (some people love it, some people hate it), represents a new beginning, is full of pressure, and sometimes ends in disappointment. To some, birthdays are milestones on the journey of life, moments that prompt us to pause, reflect, and celebrate. To others, birthdays are more somber and signify the passing of time or reflect negative cultural perceptions of aging. Regardless of your outlook, birthdays offer valuable insights into our mental health and well-being.

Reflection on Aging

Birthdays naturally invite us to reflect on aging and the passage of time. This reflection can evoke feelings of joy and gratitude for the experiences gained and the wisdom acquired. However, birthdays can also stir up anxiety or apprehension about getting older. According to one study, 87% of American adults fear getting older (Smith, 2023). This statistic reveals a lot about the cultural perception of aging in America and the natural fear many people have toward their own mortality.

We live in a society where youth is valued over old age and where older adults are often mistreated and negatively stereotyped. In America, youth is perceived as more desirable, and elderly folks are often perceived as incompetent or holding diminished status, a recurring motif in media depictions. The elderly are frequently portrayed as frail, unattractive, and mentally declining (Berger, 2017). Of course, these stereotypes are not necessarily valid! In fact, research indicates that many of these aging stereotypes are significantly overplayed (The Good Care Group, 2022).

According to one study, people tend to feel younger as they age. 61% of 65 – 74-year-olds feel younger than they are, as do 57% of people aged 75+. Age can also positively impact and enhance our mood, relationships, overall well-being, knowledge, and certain types of intelligence. This study illustrates that negative stereotypes regarding aging are often inaccurate and harmful to society’s perception of the aging process (The Good Care Group, 2022).

Considering these stereotypes, it is no wonder many people fear the process of aging—more specifically, they fear their own mortality, the loss of social currency, or the loss of what has been deemed valuable to society. Nonetheless, aging is a natural process, and our attitude toward aging can profoundly impact our mental health. Embracing aging positively, focusing on the present moment, and finding meaning in each stage of life can help us navigate the inevitable journey of growing older with resilience and grace. One way to view the aging process more positively is to focus on your accomplishments over the past year instead of fixating on your age. Recognizing achievements can offer a feeling of advancement and satisfaction (Smith, 2023).

Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

Birthdays serve as natural milestones for self-reflection and personal growth. They offer a chance to pause and take stock of our lives, celebrate our accomplishments, and acknowledge areas where we can grow. Setting intentions, nurturing our passions, and prioritizing self-care are essential for personal growth and well-being. Focusing on our journey in life, cultivating self-awareness, and committing to living authentically and intentionally are all ways of using birthdays to enhance self-growth.

Coping with Birthday Blues

Birthdays can also trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, or loneliness. The pressure to meet societal expectations, memories of past disappointments, or the absence of loved ones can contribute to what's commonly known as the "birthday blues." Birthday depression, or the birthday blues, refers to feeling sad, apathetic, or disinterested in celebrating or thinking about your birthday (Mandriota, 2023). These feelings are entirely normal! If you experience birthday blues, reach out for support, practice self-compassion, and engage in activities that nurture your well-being. Remember, it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, and it’s okay to celebrate however you feel most comfortable (Mandriota, 2023). Remember to prioritize your mental health, especially during times of heightened emotions.

Social Connection and Support

One of the beautiful aspects of birthdays is the opportunity to connect with loved ones and celebrate together. Social connections are crucial to our mental health, providing support, comfort, and a sense of belonging. Whether a small gathering with family or a virtual party with friends, coming together to honor someone's birthday strengthens bonds and enhances feelings of connection and belonging. Celebrating birthdays invites us to cherish these moments of togetherness and recognize the profound impact of social support on our well-being.

Celebrating Mindfully

As we move throughout the journey of life, birthdays offer moments of celebration, reflection, and connection. By approaching our birthdays mindfully, focusing on self-care, personal growth, and meaningful connections, we can unlock their benefit to our mental health. Whether you're celebrating another trip around the sun or supporting a loved one on their special day, remember the profound impact of birthdays on our well-being and cherish each moment with gratitude and intention.

Sources

Berger, R. (2017) Aging in America: Ageism and General Attitudes toward Growing Old and the Elderly. Open Journal of Social Sciences, 5, 183-198. doi: 10.4236/jss.2017.58015.
Mandriota, M. What Is Birthday Depression? Why Some People Feel Sad on Their Birthdays. VeryWellMind.
Smith, K. (2023). Birthday Depression: Why You’re Sad & Feeling the Blues. Talkspace.
The Good Care Group. (2022). Challenging negative stereotypes about ageing. The Good Care Group.