Limitations to Individual Therapy
Jessica Chang, MHC-LP
There is no limit to what can be explored in therapy, and thus the benefits of individual talk therapy are infinite. However, individual talk therapy is not without its limits. These limits can come from a range of sources which allow for various amounts of agency. The origin of imposed limits can include: the system and institution in which professional counseling exists under (although these limits can be pushed and reframed through an anti-oppression, anti-colonial framework), the scope and mechanics of individual talk therapy, the therapist’s abilities and capacity, the relationship between client and therapist, the client, and various other circumstances that may arise outside of one’s control. This article names 3 areas of therapy that commonly arise with client-imposed limitations that less commonly show up in popular psychology discourse. By better understanding these topics of therapy and how to utilize individual therapy effectively, clients may exercise their agency and expand the impacts of individual talk therapy in their everyday practice.
1. Repairing relationships outside of therapy
Talk therapy is relational work in itself, involving a very real relationship between client and therapist. There is so much potential in using this relationship to explore how you relate with other people and to recognize patterns within your relationships that may stem from how you are showing up within relationships outside of therapy and with yourself in the past and present.
Therapy can provide space and opportunity for you to build trust and take risks in vulnerability as well as practice difficult conversations in a safe environment. It allows for experiencing the process of ruptures within the relationship along with the process of repair, only if you choose to address what is coming up for you and continue to show up, and additionally offer these opportunities to your therapist as well.
People often talk about their partner(s) in therapy which can provide context and content regarding how they view relationships, conflict, closeness, intimacy, specific topics, etc. Your therapist is only seeing you during your session times and only hearing what you are sharing with them. It is up to the client to be honest with themself, their therapist, and their partner(s). Only so much accountability and integration can come from your therapist, and it is up to you to put in the effort to explore yourself within relationships and to apply this information to your relationships outside of therapy.
2. Collective grief
There are times in which one’s grief can be facilitated, processed, and held in an individual therapy space and individual setting. This was perhaps less limited when the perceived external environment in which we are all living in at this time felt safer to navigate mentally and emotionally. In recognizing the various levels of systemic oppression that essentially target every individual outside the narrow vision of what is deemed acceptable by the government and colonized minds, grief within collectives becomes increasingly salient.
While your therapist may be able to help you name the need for collective grief and help you identify how your grief belongs in community, and they may also be a part of those communities, the nature of the relationship between client and therapist in an individual therapy setting would not constitute collective grief. Therapists can also provide psychoeducation on collective grief and offer direction in walking through and sitting with navigating barriers and resistance within yourself towards grieving collectively.
It is then up to the client to immerse themself in spaces outside of therapy where one can feel in community and share in experiences and feelings of grief. Although individual therapy cannot create a sense of community for you, clients may discuss community-building within individual therapy spaces. One’s therapist may help to identify various barriers to feeling in community and collaborate on creating a vision of community and sense of belonging for the client along with possibilities in how to get there. Again, the actual practice and process of community-building outside of therapy must be initiated and followed through with by the client.
3. Making people like you… and making you like yourself
As your relationship develops and depending on your therapist’s theoretical orientation and style, therapists may provide you with feedback on how they are perceiving you or what they have observed within your relationship. They may also provide validation at times and affirmations and reminders. However, it is not within a therapist’s role to make you likeable or to convince you that you are likeable or to make you like yourself.
Therapy can be a wonderful space for identity work and unpacking layers and parts of us that make up our self-esteem and define our value base. Therapy can assist you in identifying, examining, and understanding what makes you - you. This can include exploration of personality traits, what you like and do not like about yourself, how you define what is likeable and unlikeable and how that came to be, how you see yourself, how others may see you, how others have seen you in the past and what experiences have led you to various conclusions, what you see as valuable and why, various influences on who you are today, and much more. Therapy can also assist you in redefining these terms and conditions as well. In therapy, you can grow to understand your likeableness/unlikeableness and determine how you want to show up and how you may be able to get closer to that vision. Again, this insight comes from you and not your therapist.
Conclusion
Individual talk therapy is a special relationship and space. Within this space, so much is held, processed, sat with, mulled over, learned, unlearned, and rearranged. However, it has its limitations. Individual therapy requires a client to have a sense of how they can use their therapist’s skills and presence within the bounds of the profession. To further remove limitations, it also requires a person to help themself and to have a sense of how they can use therapy in order to continue helping themself.
Sources:
Gillihan, S. (2024). What Therapy Can and Can’t Do. Psychology Today.
Grohol, J. (2011). 5 Things Therapy Won’t Cure. PsychCentral.